Fertilizer Spreading!

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Fert May15Yesterday as the country went to the polls we were busy spreading the last of the fertilizer on the wheat. Carl was on the spreader and I was attempting to keep him topped up with ton bags from the farm. The results of our day will take much longer to show…

We’re spreading fertilizer,
it helps crops to grow,
we calibrate the spreader,
or it comes out like snow.
Then off to the field,
to see if dose is right,
little pellets of goodness,
like hail – round and white!
Here comes the loader,
two more tons to be spread,
into the spreader,
then back to the shed!
By early evening,
the very last field,
now we need some rain,
to boost up the yield!
But not on Saturday morning!
Fert May152
© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Headless Voter!

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Headless VoterTomorrow the country goes to the polls. By Friday morning we may well wake up to a weak government controlled by a mish-mash of other parties or a weak government controlled by Scottish Nationalists (how we used to laugh at Italian politics!). The media has run such a long campaign that it is guilty of introducing mind-numbing boredom and apathy towards the election. Unfortunately it’s the system we have, so it’s time to put up and shut up…

We get the politicians we deserve;
we stupidly think it’s us they serve.
They hide behind ancient walls,
like scurrying rats when voting calls.
They’re like light bulbs each and ever hour,
they only seek one thing: that’s POWER!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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Hiding in the Rushes!

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HidingHow did we reach this state where we have some of the weakest, most pathetic and untrustworthy politicians on the planet? Leadership – something sadly lacking as they descend towards the gutter at warp-factor nine. The truth lies hiding somewhere in the rushes…

I’m so fed up with politics,
Shouting, smears, dirty tricks.
They won’t look us in the eyes,
In case we see their woeful lies.
No party is above a TV stunt,
From venue to venue supporters shunt.
If only they were Pinocchio,
In real time watch noses grow!
Common sense suspended until May 8,
Until then they’ll each other hate!
And after then, they’ll be so wise:
“That was policy, there were no lies!”

© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Stagnant Meeting!

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SwansThe other day I went to a meeting where important matters were to be discussed. However it turned out to be a rather stagnant meeting where I longed for a diversion. Of course this often happens in the swan world…

“I call this meeting to order,” said Swan number one,
“There’s much to get through, much to get done.”
“We’ve seventy-nine thousand apologies to get through.”
“Can we not name them all?” said Swan number two!
“Minutes of last meeting should have been read,”
Unfortunately at this point a child with some bread,
Turned up on the bank and started to throw,
“This meeting is abandoned, we must all go!”
So the moral of this tale is easy for all to see,
That food is more important than items one to three!

With sincere apologies to anyone attending a meeting today. I’m sure it is vital and doesn’t need interruptions of any sort. Enjoy!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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Wasted Young Lives – Again

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Roadside FlowersSix months before my son was killed in a traffic accident I wrote this verse. It lay forgotten in a file until this morning. This weekend saw yet more young lives lost. According to the press one of the drivers had only passed his test a few days before he died. News like this transports our family back to Februray 12th 2003. When will the carnage and wasted young lives stop?

Blue flashing lights announce the show.

“Roll Up, Roll Up for the greatest free show in town.”
“Slow Down, Slow Down so you can look around”
“The more you slow, the more you’ll know.”
“That’s right Sir, just enjoy the show!”

Fluorescent coats surround a crumpled car.
There is no need to hurry now as time ran out with the road.
The rookie fireman turns retching onto the grass unprepared for what he sees.
A policeman wipes away a single tear, he’s seen it often before.

The traffic slows in mock respect, to pry on private scenes.
“Don’t look now children!” says the father as he slows the car to get a better view.
Others look upon the scene with scorn, it could never happen to them, while with protesting tyres they narrowly avoid hitting the car in front.
Traffic builds up in the other direction, they have further to look.

Photographs are taken, not of weddings or births, christenings or celebrations, but of twisted agony.
“Smile Please” has no place here.
Paperwork will turn tragic waste into a statistic.
Young bodies lie side by side under a blanket: their passion, heartbeats and racing pulses idle.

The show is over.

Policemen knock on distant doors with dread.
A mother wails “No, No, No” while her husband lays a gentle hand on her shoulder and thanks the officer for a thankless task.
A father curses the day he lent his son the deposit for a first car.
A sister lies weeping in her room, time a-plenty to regret last words never spoken.

The only remaining stains at the scene are skid marks that point to a broken fence and damaged tree, no bandage for this injury.
Flowers appear, a shrine to youthful inexperience, a mark of family grief for others to glance at while speeding on their way muttering:
“That could never happen to me”.

© Baldock Bard 2015
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Putin’s Lidl Surprise!

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VodkaIt’s Polish week in Lidl (as if you didn’t already know!). Amongst the shelves of Schab Pieczony, Tlyzcki and Golonka Kresowa is a bottle of vodka. “Okrzvki!” (cheers!) you may be thinking, however you’d possibly be wise not to use “Na Zdorovie!” (cheers in Russian!) as it may earn you a visit from the KGB…

Should President Putin solace seek,
He’d better miss Lidl today
There’s a liquid suggestion,
Of which he’ll no notice pay!

He’s had advice in the past,
From Washington to Rome,
Russian Soldiers in Ukrane,
Just Putin-off back home!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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It’s All Greek To Me!

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Greek MoneySo the Greeks have been to the ballot box and voted to give Angela Merkel and the rest of the EU the finger! What happens next? It’s a scenario that could only happen in a southern European country, where working hours are tradionally short and lunch is long. Northern Europeans have never understood the Southerners. If the truth be known, they could have possibly been slightly jealous of their ‘devil may care’ attitude!. Thirty years ago commentators were discussing a ‘two-tier Europe’, perhaps the time has arrived…

The Greeks went to the Ballot box,
With austerity they didn’t agree,
Said to Europe, “Get off our backs,
There’ll be no payback, see!

Ceremonial guards do the goose-step,
Tourists watch with glee!
Domestica and Retsina by the glass,
They’re desperate to pee!

Taramasalata and Pitta bread,
Overlooking the sea?
Fakelaki backhanders greasing palms,
There’s nothing here for free!

Billions donated by Europe?
Austerity, generations may see,
I don’t understand the problem,
It’s all Greek to me!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Food Bank

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ShoppersRecently the press has published comments by the Archbishop of Canterbury who thinks that food bank funding is the responsibility of government. It has opened a whole can of worms. Much of the argument is now firmly based on political agendas with the hungry families relegated to the sidelines. I feel that something has been missed from the argument. Maybe I’m just being too simplistic…

Thank Heavens for the Food Bank
When food some can’t afford,
Charity should begin at home,
Rather than abroad.

…Let’s just thank those wonderful volunteers who run this remarkable service and continue to donate wherever and whenever we can.

© Baldock Bard 2014
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They Think It’s Over…!

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UJAt last the referendum is over, until the next time! We still have a United Kingdom, the moon is still up there, tigers didn’t escape from the zoo and blue and white is now yesterday’s colour. So back to normal chaps, as quick as you can…

Moving swiftly on,
It’s back to normal,
I knew yesterday,
I’m paranormal!

It’s time for the news,
To turn away,
And point their cameras,
Another way!

And those in Whitehall,
Will decide,
How to tell Scotland,
They lied about the bribe!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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Scotland Will Decide!

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SaltireFollowing complaints from news organisations that they were running out of decent footage, all our political masters have abandoned Westminster to head North to Scotland today. It is rumoured that bribes-for-votes are the order of the day while the rest of the United Kingdom stifles a yawn…

One week from today,
If the Scots have their way,
The one word may be ‘goodbye!’
Both sides offer a land,
If it goes as they’ve planned,
Of ‘Whiskey and Porridge, Och Aye!’
But we all know,
How promises go,
Disappear in the wink of an eye!
So here’s to you all,
May you stand proud and tall,
As you decide for yourselves ‘Nae or Aye!’

I wish the Scots the best of luck in their moment of self-determination.

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
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