The Student

RevisionI found myself stunned the other day when I saw a student revising in the sunshine. Having just witnessed a group of her peers noisily rushing around the town it came as a shock to see. It is only too easy to adopt a ‘in our day we were different’ attitude, however once the mist clears I seem to remember being part of the rowdy element rather than revising…

She sits in the sun revising,
An unusual sight on the grass,
How much she does will determine,
Whether distinction, credit or pass.
What I wonder awaits her,
In the great wild world out there,
Will she be better off because of revision,
Or rely like so many on welfare?
Will she be saddled by debt for her studies,
And then search in vain for a job,
Forsaken by politics from all parties,
Who concentrate recourses on the yob.

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

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Exciting News from the Farm!

Canada Geese 2013We have exciting news! Two wild Canada Geese have successfully hatched five chicks. To most farmers this would be as ground-breaking a headline as ‘Jet takes off from Gatwick!’ would be to the national press. But to us it’s historic as it is many years since we’ve had a visiting goose successfully lay eggs, let alone hatch chicks. So I ask for your understanding in our mini-moment of celebration of a small triumph…

A family from far away,
Is staying at the farm,
Lo and behold they’re parents,
No cause for any alarm!
Neither of them claim benefits,
Nor asylum seek,
They aren’t going to end up in the dock,
In front of an aged beak!
We can’t interfere with nature,
We hope the chicks survive,
And all fly away together,
When autumn days arrive!

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

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Bank Holiday Monday!

Bank HolidayIt’s just what the doctor ordered, a rare bank holiday Monday with sunny skies. In the supermarkets, barbecue tongs and sausages are flying off the shelves along with Ice cream and suntan lotion. The bankers have chosen a great day to take a break…

It’s bank holiday Monday,
Only the banks are closed,
The bankers need a rest day,
Only why, nobody knows!

Everything else is open,
You can buy a hat or a coat,
You can even visit a circus,
To watch a performing goat!

To shepherds on the hillside,
It’s another working day,
They’re in the middle of lambing,
They’re working night and day.

It’s chaos on the roadways,
The queues stretch for miles,
Uncle Arthur just won’t stop moaning,
Something to do with his piles!

Spare a thought for those,
Manning the tills no complain,
While those who fuelled the recession,
Have a day off drinking champagne!

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

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Happiness is…!

Floating down the riverDo you remember a famous advert on TV for a cigar in which a man was shown to be at peace with the world? The tag line was something like: ‘Happiness is a cigar called…!’ (play by Shakespeare, six letters starting with H). Back in those pre-‘everything is bad for you’ days, adverts for pipe tobacco always showed a man luxuriating in tranquil surroundings, sucking on a pipe. Nowadays, unless you are highly stressed, running in your local park for relaxation and hyperventilating over a problem at work, then you are either odd, old fashioned or on drugs. I saw a man in a boat on the river this weekend with his dog. He looked so relaxed he must have been either odd, stoned or contemplating a pipe or cigar…

There’s a man on the river,
who gets my vote,
gently paddling with his collie,
in a little red boat.
If he’s stressed,
it certainly doesn’t show,
he may stop for a pint,
before onward go!

I don’t know what he does,
I don’t know where he goes,
but I’m simply assuming,
around him life just flows.
In years gone by,
he’d sit and consider,
along with his pipe,
as he drifted down the river!
© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

This is my 400th posting in 419 days, read by over 30,000 visitors.

Thank you to all my readers both new and old for making it worthwhile through your feedback and statistics!. To celebrate this milestone I give you a thought:
“Without people like you, this would be just another rock in space!”
Many thanks and best wishes! B.B.

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The Daily Commute!

The CommuteI have just come back from a very wet early-morning farmyard. The hens don’t like the rain but the geese and ducks are happy! While outside, it struck me that it’s a good job that we are all different: I thought of dairy farmers, whose daily venture out into the dark and the rain and the muck, isn’t for me. My mind also wandered to those hurrying for the train: I could never see myself working in a city, yet I know some whose whole life revolves around a daily crowded commute (I would say ‘herded like sheep’, but if sheep were crammed that way into a lorry, a prosecution would swiftly follow). So I count my blessings…

A friend travels to London by train every day,
I wouldn’t consider it for treble his pay!
When the train arrives it’s already full,
We couldn’t do it to animals, it’s too cruel!
It’s bad enough that he’s no chance of a seat,
Near four-thousand-pound ticket, his misery’s complete.
It’s my choice to work every Saturday,
He’d not entertain an alarm call that day!
So while I am enjoying meeting new folk,
He’s still dreaming of a commute to the smoke!
So come tomorrow morning, my pleasure not pain,
Except of course, if it’s peeing with rain!

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Boot Sale returns at 7am this Saturday 13-4-13
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A Fudge Treat!

A Fudge TreatDo you sometimes give yourself a little reward when you think you deserve it? On Saturday I felt in need of such a treat. I was well on track with preparations for the first of this season’s car boot sales, I had a day off and the sun was shining. I realize that I can’t take credit for the weather, but it was as good an excuse for sneaking into Sweet Paradise (www.sweetparadise.co.uk) for a reward as I’ve heard…

I went to buy some coffee creams,
Withdrawal symptoms haunted my dreams!
I went to Sweet Paradise, my favourite sweeterie,
They’ve all sorts of delights that so suit-a-me!

Lo and behold! Coffee creams out of stock,
What a surprise, oh no, such a shock!
Instead (in mitigation), I’d tell a judge:
“My next favourite a-plenty, vanilla fudge!”

I’m afraid now my story becomes quite obscene,
I ate a bag full of fudge, my face went green!
“You are so disgusting!” yelled Mrs Bard,
“I think I’ll now call you, the Baldock Lard!”

… but the fudge tasted so good it was a wonderful treat!

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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The Silent Segue!

pearlearbudsI was queuing in the local bank. When a teller became free, the girl standing in front of me didn’t move. I coughed politely with no reaction. Thinking she may be hearing-impaired, I lightly tapped her on the shoulder. She turned, gave me a withering look and advanced towards the vacant window, but not before I’d glimpsed the tell-tale white wires trailing from beneath her hair…

When Ear-bud Erika walks the streets,
Her head is full of crazy beats!
Wherever she goes she never hears,
Because of the music in her ears.
In the bakers nothing was said,
Because she was listening to tracks from Bread!
In the estate agents quiet as a mouse,
She was tuned in to Techno-House!
In the showroom a Bavarian Motor Werke,
Tune was Autobahn by Kraftwerke!
A friend suggested a Pink welly,
She replied “not on your Nelly!”
Down a one way street without correction,
“It’s OK, as only One Direction!”
Someone offered her a glass of Vouvray,
“I’d rather have a glass of Michael Bublé”
Passed an undertakers nothing said,
She was entranced by the Grateful Dead.
On the golf course she was seen
Putting, OK, Cee Lo Green!
At her party her boyfriend took pics,
of her listening to NOW 26!
Through the day folks called her a @$&*
Didn’t hear, thanks to James Blunt!

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

Picture Notes: I always try to use my own pictures. On this occasion I feared for my health had I attempted to photograph the subject. Therefore I have used ‘The Girl with Pearl Earbud’ by Aaron Jasinski, a wonderful piece of art based on ‘Girl with the Pearl Earring by Johannes Vermeer. 

The Baldock Boot Sale returns on 7am Saturday 13-4-13
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The Dancing Cock Pheasant!

Mr Cock PheasantAll around the farm, cock pheasants are trying their very best to impress a mate. Dressed in their finest plumage, they puff out their feathers in a vain attempt to look larger and more macho than the competition. The poor hens hide themselves away and feign disinterest. All the while secretly laughing at the ridiculous attempts at courtship. It is an area where internet dating has yet to reach…

Strutting through the garden,
Doing his Cocky dance,
Wearing his brightest colours,
Going to advance!

On some poor innocent hen,
All drably dressed in brown,
Won’t be very impressed,
When Mr Cocky comes around!

Ignores his obdurate,
Playing hard to get,
Let him puff and strut,
Won’t become his pet!

He dances up to her,
Shakes off all the dust,
It’s then that she relents:
“Ok if you must!”

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Boot Sale returns on 7am Saturday 13-4-13
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The Great Easter Getaway!

P1090516The Great Easter Getaway has started. What a change from last year when the beaches around the coast were packed with early sun-seekers! This year, even more people are flying off to find those sunny beaches rather than suffer Arctic temperatures at home. Even though plans are a-changing, motoring organisations are still predicting busy roads. So grab your emergency blankets, thermos flasks, snow shovel and prepare for the Great Easter Getaway 2013…

Jayden, Kelsee and the kids,
are queuing up at check-in,
The kids run free,
With ADHD,
Whilst every other word is feckin’.

The Taylor family from Bolton,
Broken down on the M1,
A nice rescue man,
Called ‘Fluorescent Stan’,
Will get them going by one!

Michael and Abi are moving,
They’re moving to Letchworth you see!
We hope no one shakes,
Their box full of snakes,
Or the new neighbours won’t ask them for tea!

Kevin’s new allotment in Baldock,
Is still mostly covered in snow!
It may be too late,
For a good cultivate,
But he’s bound to give it a go!

Stacey is going out shopping,
To Bluewater along with Charmaine!
They will go dine,
Lunch of pasta and wine,
Training for their trip out to Spain!

Mike and Jane are off to a pub quiz
They’re part of the ‘In-quiz-itors’ team!
Questions of sport,
Not really their sort,
To win would be a great dream!

Prakash and Nisha are in their shop,
It’s a working day,
For their success,
Involves some stress,
And much more work than play!

© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above

The Baldock Boot Sale returns on 7am Saturday 13-4-13
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Warm Number One!

Ash Tree DownI once worked on a Cambridgeshire estate. One of my fellow-workers, Derek, used to tell of the warms that you can get whilst logging a tree; One to cut down the tree, one to cord it up into lengths, one to load it onto the trailer, one from stacking it off the trailer back in the estate yard, one to saw up the lengths and one to split the sawn pieces, one when you filled the log shed and one when you took the logs to the fire and finally one from the fire itself! I make that nine warms from one tree! Today we are only on the first…

A giant Ash has fallen to earth,
It must have crashed down, by the size of its girth.
It no longer stands tall and proud,
One on its own, one in a crowd.
The chainsaw buzzes, heard for miles,
Sawing into cords then stacked in piles.
That’s one warm gained from this mighty tree,
Be quite a few more before it warms you and me!
Ash Tree Down 2© Baldock Bard 2013
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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