Rosie Sitting!

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Rosie SMrs Bard and I are Rosie-sitting for some friends who’ve gone on holiday. The other night I awoke to find her standing on Mrs Bard’s slumbering form re-enacting the famous pose from The Lion King. We have now hidden the dvd remote so we can’t be accused of corrupting one so young…

Rosie the Terrier has come to stay,
While her humans have gone away!
They have gone on an aeroplane,
To an island just off Spain!
She has grabbed a comfy chair,
You can move her if you dare!
When she arrived her eating was slow,
Add two other terriers now watch her go!
She’s not used to country sounds,
An owl hoots, behind the door she bounds!
When asleep you should hear her snore,
She’s a deeper ‘voice’ than a wild boar!
If a stranger comes around,
Rosie barks like an enormous hound!
Come next week when her humans show,
We’ll be real sorry to see her go!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
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Returns Saturday April 11th 2015

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The Band of Comforters!

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Precious MonkeyWhen you were little did you have a toy, blanket or even piece of cloth you couldn’t be without? My granddaughter has a monkey. She is the most precious thing in her world. There are also two reserves, but they fail to make the grade, are immediately identified as being ‘not the one’ and rejected. The ‘Chosen One’ reigns supreme…

I see a monkey swinging from a tree,
She’s a very special monkey, one of three!
Sometimes she hides, just to be bad,
There’s one big panic waiting to be had!
My granddaughter spends her time sucking the tail,
If Monkey were missing then sleep would not prevail!
So in reserve (but not quite the same),
Are the two other monkeys who share her name!
So here’s to all comforters for the job they do,
They’re loved, abused, down trodden, but still love you!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
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A Farmer’s Idea of ‘An Evening Out!’

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Farmer's Night OutThis time of year, when we are busy cultivating on the farm, it is dark by about 7pm. Worried by the threat of bad weather forecast for next week, I decided to put in a few extra hours. Whilst plodding up and down the field my mind wandered and I came up with this verse…

A local farmer, short and stout,
Told his wife, he was spending, the evening out!
“I’ll be back, but it’ll be late,
You could leave some supper on a plate!”
His wife who was neat and uncommonly kind,
Said to him, “I really don’t mind!”
As she knew there was no other distractor,
The ‘Other Woman’ was his tractor!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Magic Instrument of Calm!

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Polly and the KettleWhenever we are stressed and things aren’t going our way, we who reside on this island reach for a magic instrument of calm, the kettle! From first thing in the morning to last thing at night, it is our comforter and protector from all that threatens us…

“I’ll stick the kettle on, shall I?”
Is often heard in soaps,
when bad news is the subject,
That’s dashed all faith and hopes.

Thus it is in real life,
When stress comes our way,
Just have a cup of tea,
It’ll magically go away!

You’ve been awake half the night,
Your pillow’s on the floor,
You fancy a cuppa,
So you’ll toss and turn no more!

It may just be an illusion,
When you get that soothing hit,
You seem to be much calmer,
And not so deep in the…!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Vantage Point!

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The Vantage PointYou can always tell grandparents these days, they are the ones in a town during the week with babies and toddlers in tow! This may seem like a negative. In my case it’s a great positive, having a generational gap between possible combatants increases harmony! However the space taken up by car seats is another matter…

There’s a car seat on the back seat,
‘Iso-fixed’ in place,
To not have the safest,
Would be an sheer disgrace!
There are crisps in the lining,
A child’s beaker on the seat,
The dogs are waiting hopefully,
For a discarded treat!
But when the seat is empty,
The grandchild has gone home,
It becomes a vantage point,
To allow dogs eyes to roam!

*Before anyone suggests that the picture was taken whilst I was driving, Mrs Bard was at the wheel and I used the reverse camera on my i-phone to take the picture from the passenger seat!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Good hedges making good neighbours!

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Loadall HedgeThere is an old countryside saying here in the UK: “Good hedges make for good neighbours!” Yesterday I gave a neighbour a hand with trimming his hedge. Luckily we were able to get up close and personal with the cherry-picker cage on our JCB Loadall. After some Health and Safety assessment and advice we tackled the hedge…

“Buzz buzz buzz” goes the hedge trimmer,
as the tall hedge gets thinner and thinner!
Up in the cage to ease the clipping,
safer than a ladder with no chance of slipping.
The neighbour hoisted high above the ground
shouts down: “Look what I have just found!”
Rusty shears had grown into a branch,
Where someone gave up on the final tranche!
As we got further from the floor,
The thicker branches need the chainsaw!
Until most of the hedge was gone you see
And we adjourned inside for tea!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Big Hungry Fish!

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Fish 2Staying with friends in Portland on the South Coast of Dorset, I noticed a pair of rather attractive dishes on the bedside tables in my room. They were handmade in Greece, possibly by former Euro-currency traders, now potters, all called Zorba. Not knowing why, I took a couple of snaps and ‘Hey-Presto’ here they are…

A little fish was swimming,
in the water against the tide,
A large fish called out to him:
“Come here for a ride!”

The little fish responded:
“I think I’ll swim beneath,
Because I’m rather wary
of your great big teeth!”

“My teeth are made for smiling,
My teeth are made to grin,
I’m really not that hungry,
You’re welcome to come in!”

Just as he was speaking,
His big mouth open wide,
A hook from the surface,
Lodged itself inside!

It just goes to show,
(If you are a fish)
What you end up getting,
Is not always what you wish!
Fish 1

You too can stay in this charming Dorset house!: http://www.homeaway.co.uk/p1171249?cid=SM_Facebook_slideshow_T_LPROP&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=propertyslideshow

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Time Travel with my Stomach!

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Wagon Wheel 1I’m always pleased (at my advanced age!) to rediscover tastes and experiences that I’d forgotten. The other day Mrs Bard and I were in Morrisons at Sterling Corner at the bottom of the A1 when I discovered they sold Wagon wheels! I could hardly wait until I got home before ripping open the packet to travel back in time…

I opened the packet of Wagon Wheels
And much to my surprise
Over the years they had shrunk
To almost half the size

The chocolate was still melty
The biscuit still held a crunch
But where was the thick layer of mallow?
I used to enjoy after lunch!

It was only then that I realized,
The years had slipped away,
And nothing still tasted the same,
As it did back in the day!

So next time I have a brainwave,
I shall ignore the time-travel call,
Because nothing is quite the same,
As it was when I was small!
Wagon Wheel 2However having finished the packet of six in one sitting I can say they are still irresistible and produce the same over-indulgent stomach ache as they did when I pigged out back then. After all these years I still haven’t learnt that one is enough and that the packet will still be available the next day!!!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Friends!

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All FriendsMrs Bard and I spent a wonderful weekend surrounded by a random selection of friends. When they had all scattered back to their everyday lives and the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon, I suddenly realised how lucky we were in friendship. Someone once told me that you don’t make lasting friends when you get older. Believe me that’s so untrue, most of the friends who’s company we enjoyed yesterday, were unknown to us ten years ago. Go on, shock yourself, make a new friend today…

Where would we be without friends?
On a wonderful sunny afternoon,
There’s talk and laughter and merriment,
And the day passes all too soon!
Some friends fall by the wayside,
When it’s bumpy they just can’t hang on,
But others just cling tighter,
And are there when things go wrong!
So here’s to you and to friendship,
To times we’ll never forget,
Maybe I don’t even know you,
It’s simply we haven’t yet met!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Personal Marketing!

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IMG_6945Friend Hazel bought me a present with my name on! She couldn’t find Baldock or Bard, so she had to make do with one of my lesser monikers. Yesterday on the tractor I drunk it! Whilst in the process I thought of how it was possibly the best marketing ploy ever…

Glug, glug, glug goes the bottle,
As I’m driving my tractor,
A smile encased, my dusty face,
Personalisation the deciding factor!

In service stations and shops,
Up and down the land,
You always see, folks like me,
With a bottle in their hand!

However the name might be wrong,
I’ve been Sue, Chantelle and Grace,
But for a while, it brings a smile,
To a strangers face!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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