I was walking down Baldock High Street yesterday when a large coach pulled up in front of a small queue of pensioners standing in line with their suitcases. I got to thinking about coach travel and the people that I’ve seen waiting to join organised tours before. I found myself wondering: where are they going, do they do it often and is it fun?
This is a work of fiction any resemblance to any person or company either living or dead is entirely by accident.
So hop onboard and see where the journey takes you…
Stan and Angie’s Tours
Stan has a shiny coach, all that’s left from his divorce,
Apart from his daughter Angie (who stayed with him of course).
Together they spend their weeks, up and down the roads,
Showing their guests scenery and stately abodes.
Stan greets his elderly passengers and gently stows their cases,
Then welcomes them on-board, a sea of eager faces.
“Today we will be travelling, at a height of just three feet,”
It’s his little opening joke, he says it every week!
“We’ll be leaving shortly, please watch your neighbours knees,
By this time tomorrow, we might reach the Hebrides!”
Angie (dressed impeccably), wanders up and down the aisle,
“I’ll soon be serving coffee,” she tells pensioners with a smile.
When they stop for comfort breaks, inevitably a rush,
Mrs Scott from Stevenage almost trampled in the crush.
There’s a Mrs Jones from Swansea and a Mr Brocklehurst,
Mrs Carr from Redcar, makes sure she gets off first.
Mrs Strand from Sandwich left her teeth at Watford Gap,
Soup for every meal since then, picked up on her way back!
They’ve seen the Scottish mountains and a very big Welsh lake,
A big balloon, close to Troon, kept them all awake!
They’ve been to The Eden Project and visited Longleat too,
Seen the Bard at Stratford and even London Zoo.
When they reach their nightly stay, they’re ready for a meal,
Fish and chips, no fancy dips, no ‘foreign food’ like veal!
When staying in strange hotels, Stan finds it hard to sleep,
He ends up counting pensioners, instead of counting sheep!
By the end of seven days with them, they know the passenger’s needs,
They might add an extra visit, like an outlet store near Leeds.
“He’d make a lovely husband,” the old ladies say of Stan,
“Angie’d make a wonderful wife, we wish she’d find a man!”
Their passengers are like family, through sun and pouring rain,
At their peak, by the end of the week, all rush to book again!
© Baldock Bard
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