The Problem with Lowest Cost Airlines!

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Taking into account problems with low-cost airlines recently, two resourceful sellers at the car boot sales decided to give DIY flight a try. The take-off area was cleared of stalls, children and animals, the local airport control tower was informed and the two intrepid flyers prepared for take-off…

“We’d like to go to Portugal,
but anywhere will do,
so long as the wind doesn’t change
and we end up in Peru!
Are you prepared for take-off?
have you stashed the duty-free?
I can feel the ground is moving,
is that power lines I can see?”
Just then a mighty gust of wind,
(pre-flight checks complete)
and the tarpaulin took off without them,
All they could shout was “SHEET!”

With grateful thanks to Team Fairfield for their humour and joy!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

 

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The Last Bootsale!

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It is not yet 5am on a Saturday morning and I am preparing to leave the warm kitchen to go down and open up the car boot sale for the last time this season. Some may view this with a tinge of sadness, however I can’t believe that I’ve been doing them for so long! Over 40,500 sellers and an estimated 800,000 buyers have visited over the years and we’ve held over 650 sales! Hey Ho! Hey Ho! It’s off to the Bootsale I go…

They’re queuing in the dark at the bootsale,
eager to get in and sell,
hoping that the weather will hold out,
and that they will do well.
The buyers are still asleep,
tucked up in comfy warm beds,
but in cars and vans in the farmer’s field,
treasure from garages and sheds!
Around the bootsale this morning,
the end of out twenty-fifth season,
“Happy Christmas” will be the greeting,
and friendliness will be the reason!
May I be the first to wish you all Happy Christmas (only 72 days early!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

LAST SATURDAY MORNING THIS SEASON!
Season Ends 14
th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Sunrise!

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I was going to write a long diatribe about the wonderful sunrise last Saturday morning just as the car boot sale was opening. I was going to marvel at nature’s light-show and how the birdsong echoed around the field. Perhaps I might even have mentioned the rabbits and hares that were seen stretching as they arose from their slumber ready to face another wonderful day. However, I took one look at the photo I took and decided that words on this occasion were just superfluous and for once in my life I should shut up…

Enjoy the photo!

Have a great weekend with the ones you love and stay safe. BB.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
Season Ends 14
th October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Droning on at the Boot Sale!

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Last Saturday in unusually glorious weather, I overflew the car boot sale with my trusty Mavic Pro drone (following the regulations to the letter of course as my licence is more precious to me that a good photo). Afterwards I received varied comments from “Playing with your toy again I see!” to “You checking up on us from a different angle!”. I struggled to explain that I use it mostly for work and so gave up and agreed that it was great fun as well as being useful (it also helped that it was sunny and the field was full)…

Saturday, September the second,
summer has reached us at last,
Farmer Giles has his drone in the sky,
if it crashes he’ll say “Damn and blast!”

A few sellers have noticed,
they point to this thing in the sky,
others approach with a question,
“Tell me: What or Where or Why?”

Then come out the stories,
“A mate once had one of those,
it chased his girlfriend round the garden,
until she tripped and fell on her nose!”

“There’s one came over our house,
it won’t be coming no more,
I scored a direct hit with the hosepipe,
it came down on the roof next door!”

I did a perfect landing in the car-park,
away from all bar me,
“I wanted you to crash it!”
a seller said with great glee!

“You call yourself a pilot,
I have no wish to be rude,
but you ain’t a proper live pilot,
‘cos there’s no stewardess serving food!”

Have a great day and if you’re going flying make sure there is a drink and food available and stay safe!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

 

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A Ferocious Passenger!

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One amazing part of running a car boot sale, apart from the people, is that you never know what you’ll find on sellers stalls. I thought that after twenty-five years, 657 sales and over 40,000 stalls, I’d just about seen all there was to see and would no longer view ‘unique’. That was until last Saturday when I dropped by on a stall to collect the pitch fee…

“There’s a tiger in your van,
looking out at me,
I do hope it’s been fed,
not eyeing me up for tea!
I don’t suppose you get,
many break-ins to your van,
I bet the last who tried it,
screamed before he ran!
Oh! it has been fed this morning,
I’m much relieved at that,
next time you may consider,
bring a smaller type of cat!”
This is dedicated not just to two sellers with a great sense of humour, but also to friend Geoff, whose real-life job this week is picking up a real tiger from an airport!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Saturday Alarm!

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This morning has been all go-go-go! The sheets and duvet ganged up on me and with the help of the alarm clock conspired to make me wake up half an hour late! Therefore the deadline to get down to the field in Baldock to open up the car boot sale had crept too close for comfort. However despite some minor setbacks I seem to have made it on time and thanks to the wonders of ‘Hotspot’ I’m writing these words ‘live’…

The clock in the car says six-eighteen,
I’m almost ready (or should have been),
if I don’t soon open the gate,
there’ll be a chorus of “Ooh, you’re late!”
So I can’t sit here chatting to you,
must get on – ‘Toodle-oo!”

I apologise for the lack of quality this morning, but needs must when the Devil drives. Have a great Bank Holiday Weekend!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Early Morning Sky!

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It is strange how some mornings the weather forecast leads to expectations which then don’t materialise. I was expecting pouring rain at 04:30 this morning. I had convinced myself that the early alarm call would be wasted and instead of running my car boot sale, I’d be able to slope off back to the confines of the warm duvet! The sky told a different tale…

I love the early morning sky,
it fascinates me, heaven knows why!
It holds such promise in many ways,
a glimpse of future happy days!
The forecasters promised heavy rain,
a wash-out boot sale, what a pain,
opening the curtains I look out and see,
a wonderful sight facing me!
Hardly a cloud stains the view,
everything is dry, the morning new,
and I can’t slope back off to bed,
but face a dry sunny day instead!

Whatever you’re up to today and wherever in the world you find yourselves, may you enjoy your day and stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Little Fella!

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I’ve see some strange purchases at the car boot sale over the years. Sometimes I even manage to record it for posterity! Looking through some archive photos I discovered a photo of a little chap being carted off to a new pond…

A gnome was at the bootsale,
just mooching around,
when someone caught his hat,
lifted him clean off the ground!

“How much for the little chap?
he really is quite cute,
I’ve a place in my garden,
I think that he would suit!”

“Put me down you brigand,
I’m being kidnapped from this stall,
He’s taking advantage,
because I’m not that tall!”

“Hush now fella don’t complain
I’m not as cruel as it appears,
I could have picked you up
and carted you by your ears!”

If you’re off pushing your wheelbarrow today I hope nobody picks you up by your hat!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Dawn Shopping!

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I did something this morning that previous generations of my family would have found unfathomable! I walked into our local supermarket just after 4:30am! Yes, I went shopping at silly-o-clock! I had forgotten to pick up any milk last night and so I joined the insomniacs and shelf-stackers in the early light of dawn…

I walked into the store,
just after 4:30,
cars parked up,
about only thirty!
I wanted milk,
nothing more,
was able to park,
close to the door.
No queues for the tills,
just serve-yourself,
with my bottle of milk,
fresh from the shelf.
Return roads quiet,
no vapour trail,
just cars lined up,
for my car boot sale!

Have a great day and don’t forget the milk!
(Real farmers get their milk straight from the cow, I have to dawn-raid the supermarket!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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“Got Any Military?”

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Ever since I started running a Saturday car boot sale I became aware of a select group of early-morning buyers who trawl the stalls for specialist collectables. Some collect records (or Vinyls as they are now known!), some search for gold and some are simply looking for that obscure Lalique vase or similar! However there is also John! I would think that he is coming up to having repeated the phrase “Got and Military?” nearly 40,000 times…

Saturdays wouldn’t be the same,
without “Got any military?”
up and down the rows he goes,
the height of civility!
Sometimes you’ll see him,
on his way back to his car,
a rusty helmet in his hands,
or pictured Churchill with cigar!
Sometimes sellers try to fool him,
with an Action Man and Jeep!
but he just smiles and says,
“I’ll see you all next week!”
To all our wonderful buyers, without you, sellers wouldn’t come and the field would be empty!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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