Brown, The Very Old Tractor!

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David Brown 1490Yesterday I went to mow the roadside verge. This a job that used to be regularly done by the Council. However one four foot pass once a year is now judged to suffice under the excuse of ‘going green’. This meagre practice allows weeds to spread from the unfettered breeding ground into my crops and also makes visibility our roads more dangerous for us all. So I decided to team up with an old friend and declare war on the cow parsley and nettles…

I know an old girl her name is Brown,
Her big old wheels have been around!
You’d never guess that years ago,
She was the star of an agricultural show,
Centre stage looking grand,
On a tractor dealers stand!

Yesterday I went to the barn,
She watched me approach with alarm!
“Come on Browny, let’s get going,
You and I are off mowing!”
Very soon she was in her stride,
Mowing grass by the roadside.

Her bonnet may be bent and rusty,
Her once plush cab, worn and dusty,
But she’s still as useful as can be,
Mainly on the saw bench to chop up a tree!
Despite reluctance, despite her fears,
She won’t be scrapped for many more years!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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A Car Prompts an Embarrassing Memory!

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90Isn’t it strange how places and objects can transport you straight back in time to past ‘faux-pas-terribles’. Yesterday I saw a Rover 90 passing and found myself transported back to 1971 and a girl I shall call ‘Susan’ (as the mists of time and depth of shame have erased her name!)…

Susan was fourteen,
Susan was shy,
She looked as if,
Any moment she’d cry!

She came to school,
In a black Rover car,
Which was driven snail-like,
By her old grandpa!

One terrible morning,
In an attempt to look cool,
“If your granddad drove slower,
you’d never get to school!”

As soon as I said it,
I knew I was bad:
“That’s isn’t my grandpa
That is my dad!”

So yesterday lunchtime,
When a Rover passed by,
It reminded me of the time,
I wished I could die!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Bluebells (natures magical secret)

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The woodland floor at the moment is a carpet of blue. It is absolutely magical. It is one scene that is unchanged for centuries. However the delicate native species can only thrive when left undisturbed, so few people witness this miracle of nature. The delicate flower is in full bloom for a very short time before disappearing to lie in wait for next year. Words cannot describe its full beauty, so why use them…
Bluebells at Clothall

© Baldock Bard 2014
For verse click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Cleanest Tractor in Town! (doing a dirty job)

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JCB LOOSJohn polished our JCB the other day. I can foresee trouble ahead as I’m having to use it to tow the loos to the car boot sale. My Mitsubishi is poorly and in bed on doctors orders. So I’m having to tread carefully…

We’ve got the cleanest tractor in town,
It gleams more than any around.
But it’s sulking, a real wailer,
as it’s towing the car boot loo-trailer!
Because my Mitsubishi is ill,
I’m using it to tow the loos down the hill.
As it hits the early-morning road,
It will try to ditch this insulting load,
and head off to a land far away,
where all lucky tractors go to play!
And frolicking in Utopia you’ll see,
one very happy JCB!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Reason the Visitors Wouldn’t Leave!

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Geese+On the 24th February I wrote how our geese were having trouble with guests that would not leave (http://bit.ly/1fMq9qU). Now it seems that they had an ulterior motive: like Mary, she was ‘with child’. Yesterday morning the proud parents paraded their young for all to see, rather like a walkabout on a royal foreign tour…

Spring has sprung at last round here!
It’s a magical time of the year,
lambs are prancing under the trees,
everywhere are Bumble-Bees!
Yesterday morning my eyes did fix,
on our Canadian visitors with five chicks!
If there’s a better morning sight to see,
I don’t know, please tell me!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season TOMORROW!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Plastic Hammer!

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Sign erec1Our twenty-second season of car boot sales starts on Saturday. The days leading up to the first one seem to be much shorter than in a normal week. As I get (much) older I need to rely on more help to prepare, many hands make light work…

Granddaughter has joined the team,
to prepare for the car boot sale,
she helps put up the new roadside sign,
despite Granddad looking pale,
when she picks up a hammer,
and swings it around her head,
causing a Health and Safety panic,
which is better left unsaid!
The new sign is finally erected,
for all who pass to see,
and the gang who are getting ready,
go off home for tea!
(or milk and biscuits and to play with plastic hammer like Granddad!)
Sign erec2

FYI: At all times the child mentioned here was supervised by seventeen carefully trained specialists (out of shot) in the art of using a hammer and no animals were harmed in the production of this verse. Serving Suggestion Only.

FYI2: There are some companies that go that extra mile for their customers. Poster Pidgeon (who printed our new signs) is a great find. For someone like me who struggles with sizes and puzzles over pixels, they are a godsend.
Thank you Posterpigeon! They can be found at: Posterpigeon.co.uk

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Thoughts About a Terrier!

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MaliI was looking at my slumbering dog yesterday and wondering what human career she would have followed. Of course we all think our pooches are capable of far more than would be otherwise obvious. So I had a go at listing possible occupations…

My dog could be a poet or a husky-voiced jazz singer,
or a very accomplished cathedral bell ringer.
She could ride a bike in the Isle of Man TT,
or be a lumberjack and cut down the tallest tree!

She could be a ballerina and strike an impossible pose,
or be a plastic surgeon and reshape someone’s nose!
If she were a chef nothing would ever leave the kitchen,
If she were an estate agent she’d do well to sell in Hitchin!

If she were a funeral director she’d be solemnly dressed in black,
or write for a newspaper and call herself a hack
But all she wants to do is live without a saga
And spend much time asleep… in front of the Aga!

What could your dog do?

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Early Morning Pains! (the last piece of Easter egg)

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Early Morning St NeotsEarly this morning I was awake, coping with self-inflicted, Easter-egged, stomach-ache! Vowing never to eat chocolate again (until the memory wears off in a day or so), I opened the curtains where I am staying and took in the early morning scene…

It’s 2am, everyone’s asleep,
Dreaming dreams or counting sheep.
Sepia streetlights hold their sway,
Waiting to herald a brand new day.
A few more hours of sleep’s a perk,
It’s Tuesday morning, back to work!
Easter eggs are now mere wrappers,
Hymns an echo of happy clappers!
And life resumes its inevitable course,
Just as cart, comes before the horse!
Work’s been on hold since last Thursday,
Just thirteen days ‘til the next holiday!

Is that a piece of Easter egg that I missed?
(Should now read: “Was that a piece of Easter egg that I missed?”)

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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There’s Always Someone to Blame! (this time it’s me)

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Car WashThis morning the media are looking for someone to blame for the rain spoiling everyone’s Easter Day! Unfortunately, just one day’s rain in April can’t be down to climate change, the Environment Agency or events in the Middle East, so they’ve had to widen the search. I might just be able to help…

I took my car to the car wash,
On Easter day afternoon.
The sky looked rather threatening,
I was expecting rain quite soon!

I sat in the waiting room,
Watching the suds and the spray.
Thinking how dirty my car was,
And how little I had to pay!

I drove out of the car wash,
Just as it started to rain,
I should be shamed by the media,
As there’s always someone to blame!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Scarecrow and the Jacket!

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JacketWhile browsing in a local shop yesterday I came across a remaindered rail full of jackets. As is my habit, I took a photo for possible future use. Later on, while downloading the picture, I was suddenly reminded of a gentle-man who lived in our village and how one day he’d given me a jacket…

Francis rang me up to say,
“I saw your scarecrow yesterday,
and far from me to criticise,
the coat doesn’t fit and is not its size!
I have an old coat I no longer wear,
that may be rather useful there!”

I accepted the coat, I did not know,
that it had be tailored in Saville Row!
It was only when I got it home,
t’was in a better state than my own!
It wouldn’t go to waste, there was no doubt,
the scarecrow would be going without!

Dedicated to the late Francis Tufton, a gentle and generous countryman.

 

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale 
returns for the twenty-second season on April 26th 2014
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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