Charlie the Wolfhound!

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CharlieDriving along the road, you can see the most remarkable sights. The other day I was able to grab my camera as I was not driving. Mrs Bard and I were following a car that had a very tall passenger in the back, so tall in fact that a van might have been more appropriate transport…

When Charlie the Wolfhound
arrives at a junction,
his superior height,
gives him a function!
He looks left,
then he looks right,
then howls ‘Ok!”
with all his might.
There’s just one drawback,
if you please,
he has to duck,
to avoid low trees!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

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www.u-boot.co.uk

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Goodbye Old Friend

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LinseedThere is a time for all of us to hang up our coat, take a bow and leave the world’s stage. This weekend it was the turn of my cousin and friend, Roger, to give a final wave and disappear from sight.

Roger was a gentle-man, farmer and engineer. Had circumstances been different he might have been one of the greatest engineers of our generation. Some years ago he took an old Land Rover and built himself a self-propelled sprayer, because he felt he could do better than what was available on the market at the time. He also built a rough-terrain forklift and a seed drill than would still outshine much of what is on the market today.

He used to say how jealous of me he was of me with my ‘oh look there’s a squirrel’ ways. I used to say that I wished my welding looked like his and not a pile of bird droppings!

He could sometimes be nervous and sweat profusely. Once, when returning from a holiday in France, he was nervous about entering the customs shed in our over-laden car. Unfortunately he knew only too well that the car had been almost empty on the outward crossing. He sat in the back, sweating profusely as the customs officer looked in the boot, an inch away from many many bottles of wine, before we were waved clear much to his relief!

Although we saw little of each other in the latter years, when we did meet up it was as if it had been but days.

I was his best man (twice out of three) but never the better man.

Goodbye old friend, keep those plough lines straight and the combine fire extinguisher charged.

BB

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Longing for Dial-up!

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NewbigginI’ve spent this last week doing a course in Newcastle, living in a house at Newbiggin about 15 miles to the north. The people have been great, both those on the course and those I’ve met around and about. They have been friendly, open and welcoming. However one old chestnut has followed me north, poor phone signal. At one point I sat attempting to access the internet with phone held aloft, typing with one hand…

Trying for Internet access,
I’m pulling out my hair,
one moment it’s gone,
the next it is barely there!
Using a hotspot,
to keep in touch,
is just frustrating,
just too much!
I dream of the day,
you can use your phone,
everywhere you go,
When away from home.

Thanks to the instructors and students on the course, for making a simple farmer so welcome! Oh! and I managed to pass by getting over 75% in the exam, the toughest I’ve ever sat in my life. So if you want to know how to fly UAV’s (drones) safely and correctly, have a chat to those nice people at Heliguy or RUSTA!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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UAV Exam Nerves!

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Exam NotesAlmost fifty years ago when I was in school, I had an Australian geography teacher called Sidney Smith. He only ever said one thing to me: “You’ll come a cropper in the exams!” He was invariably right and his prediction hung around my neck for all of my school career. This morning I am taking a Civil Aviation Authority exam. Part of it includes remembering CAA laws, so I have devised the following in an attempt to shake off Sidney Smith’s curse…

CAP 722
Unmanned Aircraft System -You!
CAP 393
Air Navigation Order – what yours be?
CAP 382
Mandatory Reporting System – if crash you’ll do!
CAP 737
Crew Resource (air hostess heaven!)
CAP 403
A flying display is what you’ll see!
CAP 658
Safe model flying (that’s just great!)

In hindsight I accept it was only his interpretation of: “fail to prepare, prepare to fail!” Thanks Sidney, this one’s for you. RIP.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard

Twitter: @baldockbard

E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk



The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October


With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Droning On!

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DroneBBI am spending this week in Newcastle learning how to pilot a UAV or Drone. This involves learning about the principles of flight, air law, weather and the millions of other bytes of information that enable competent and safe flying. My old rusty brain complains about the amount of fresh information I am cramming into that empty aircraft-hanger-sized space. Hopefully, at the end of the week I shall pass the exam and be on the road to safer, qualified, flying…

I want to be a pilot,
See the world from the sky you see,
But the closest I will ever get,
Is flying a UAV!

Helliguy are the suppliers and RUSTA are the trainers.
Thinking of flying a drone commercially or safely? Google them.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of barg

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Driving Over Lemons!

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Lemon pieLast night I enjoyed a tarte au citron for supper (following excellent meatballs made by my ‘demi-Italien’ friend Tony). Suddenly, without warning, I remembered a seller who made an annual trip to the car boot sale and I realised with shock that it must be at least ten years since I had seen him…

A man from Spain,
used to visit his mum,
who lived in the Midlands,
not far from ‘Brum’.
Before he left,
home on his trip,
from his garden,
fresh lemons he’d pick.
On his stall,
freshest fruit you’d see,
gone in an instant,
some for me.
So Señor limón,
where have you gone?
I remember your lemons,
though you have moved on!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Danger! It’s a Drone!

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DroneBBThere are certain daily items that over the years have been used by the press as props for a ‘let’s-make-up-a-story’ on a lack-lustre news day. Sometimes these have been based around ‘inventions of the devil’: The motor-car (great frightener of horses), television (destroyer of children’s brains), up to today’s beloved bête noire, the UAV, commonly known as a drone…

Hold the front page I’ve a story to tell,
There’s an object in the sky and it’s coming from Hell!
It’s capable of anything the press can decide,
Will suddenly appear to take your pet for a ride!

It can crash into your garden, bring down a jet,
A thousand other uses we haven’t thought of yet!
Those who use them will spy on your bed,
Then lose control and injure your head!

“He is an outcast,” the papers will say,
On innocent lives apparently I prey!
But the truth is simple, no cause for alarm,
I’m spying on wheat around my own farm!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Art of Conversation!

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boat saleRunning a car boot sale in this country comes with problems that don’t affect markets in some other nations. We are at the mercy of the Great British Summer. Since the earliest of times, the weather has come to the aid of this Island Race when conversation has lagged. This has avoided those long silences that some unfortunate nations endure…

Here we are it’s Saturday,
Car Boot time again,
the forecast is uncertain,
looks like we’ll have rain!

Last week a sunny morning,
‘till after half-past-four,
then the heaven’s opened,
Down the rain did pour!

We all know politicians,
can’t agree together,
so let us just be thankful,
they can’t control the weather!

…it helps to fill a blog as well! Have a great weekend and I’ll see you on the other side!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Jim Hits The Deck!

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Jim ReevesClearing up after the car boot sale the other day I came across a discarded item from a stall. There, abandoned and unloved, lay Jim Reeves. How are the mighty fallen, from Top of the Pops to abandoned at Boot Sale…

A Jim Reeves sleeve hits the deck,
an aged lady says “By Heck!”
but Jim just lies upon the grass,
out of favour his time did pass.
I realise I may be wrong,
can’t remember a Jim Reeves song.
The housewives’ choice from years ago,
now thrown away that’s how it go.
Unfortunately there’s no way back,
As he slips inside the refuse sack.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Three-Wheeled Coffee Machine

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Coffee WagonWhile waiting to pick someone up at Baldock station yesterday morning I was amazed to see almost every traveller stop to buy a coffee from a small three-wheeled coffee stall. Thinking about it later, I realised that small entrepreneurial outlets like this should be applauded. It exemplifies someone seeing a gap in the market and working hard to fill it…

Reading a classic Neville Shute,
as part of the daily commute,
a coffee sublime,
will suit you just fine,
followed by a portion of fruit!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@u-boot.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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